D.O. in Bronx, New York, writes:
I’ve been involved in online dating, via one of the major online dating services, for about a year. I’ve met many nice men but have a conundrum: At what numerical point in my lineup of dates should I stop looking and choose the “best of the rest” for a lifetime partner? Some of my friends say, “Stop already! You’ve met some great guys!” Others–and I trend to agree with them–say, “Keep looking! You’ve got good ones on the hook, but a great one is just around the corner.” Is there a statistical model that can tell me when to cut off the search (10 guys, 20 guys, 50 guys!) and choose the best of the lot? If there is, it would help me stave off the rule of diminishing returns while still enabling me to stop my biological clock so I can join the Mommy stream. Your thoughts?
Marilyn responds:
No law of diminishing returns applies to searching for a desirable choice. Anyway, I think you should keep looking–not for a so-called “great” guy, but one with whom you fall in love. That’s the best way to join the Mommy stream. But if your biological clock is beginning to run down, you could consider choosing your favorite boyfriend and telling him the truth–just as you told me. Maybe he’ll be a kindred spirit.
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Online Dating: When Do You Stop Searching?
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