Happy Birthday, Dana Carvey! The funnyman and former SNL cast member turns 61 on June 2, 2016.
Carvey’s comedy and performances as famed character Garth Algar on Wayne’s World have had Americans buckling over in laughter for years.
The now well-established comedian told The New York Times in 2013 that his career of joke-telling didn’t begin as planned. “I was doing stand-up and being offered a lot of bad TV shows because Hollywood wasn’t interested in me as a comedian,” he said.
Boy, are we glad that they changed their minds! To celebrate, here are 10 of his best one-liners.
1. On life: “I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.”
2. On Kim Kardashian’s short marriage and subsequent divorce to Kris Humphries: “You know, Elizabeth Taylor must be in Heaven going, ‘Alright, fire two honey!’”
3. As Garth in Wayne’s World describing the bass player’s girlfriend: “If she were a President, she’d be Babe-raham Lincoln!”
4. On expectations: “You cannot pee in a Mr. Coffee and get Taster’s Choice.”
5. On impossibility: “You know, sometimes you can’t just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.”
6. As news anchor Tom Brokaw: “Stunning news from Yorba Linda today, as Richard Nixon’s corpse climbed out of his grave and strangled Gerald Ford to death.”
7. On literacy: “I’m 30 years old, but I read at the 34-year-old level.”
8. On parenting: “A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son’s bed, and the dad said, ‘Well, we sure can’t spank him.’”
9. As the Grumpy Old Man from Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update: “In my day, we didn’t have video-games! We just sat around and watched a potata’ bake!”
10. On religion: “If the Scientologists think your religion is whacked, then it must be pretty weird.”
View the original at Parade or follow us on Twitter, Facebook or Google+