A Smokin’ Wife! (Not in a Good Way)

Lily Orange in Murrieta, California, writes:

I know a medical doctor whose wife smokes a lot. Every time I see her in her yard, on her deck, in her car, or on a parking lot, she’s smoking. In fact, I don’t recall ever seeing her not smoking when she’s not inside a building. I visit this doctor as a patient, and he has told me not to smoke. (I never have.) What’s your opinion of a doctor who tells his patients not to smoke, but who tolerates his own spouse’s smoking habit?

Marilyn responds:

You must be a neighbor! Anyway, I don’t think the doctor’s wife’s smoking habit reflects negatively on him as a physician. He probably has no choice but to tolerate her habit (I’m sure he has tried to convince her to stop) or to leave her, and I’ll bet you wouldn’t think the latter is a better choice. He likely tolerates patients who smoke or who have other habits that are bad for their health. (Doctors have more than enough work to do treating health problems that have nothing to do with a patient’s bad choices. They hate treating lifestyle diseases.) Again, what should he do? Decline to accept patients who eat too much or drink too much, etc?